Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Kindergarten in 6 months

When I look back on the last 5 years of my life I can not believe how fast they have gone by,  My beautiful little girl is going to be starting kindergarten in 6 months.  I don't really know how I feel about that.  It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital delivering her.  I went into labor Friday February 10th after Bryan and I were having a date night as our expected baby arrival was March 1st.  Well, let's just say date night didn't go as expected.  Bryan and I went a restaurant out on Anna Maria Island and we ordered steak for dinner.  Bryan took one bite and it got lodged in his throat. He started choking and all I remember is thinking, I am going to raise this little girl as a single parent.  I saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes.  I went catatonic. Thankfully there was a group of women having a dinner party at the table next to us.  One of them happened to be a nurse.  Bryan did not have the Heimlich performed because he ended regurgitating the steak.  Needless to say, we had our meal comped and went home.  And 10 minutes after making it home, my water began to break.  We were not prepared.  I didn't have anything ready.  We thought we would get everything ready that weekend.  So off to the hospital we go.  Then 12 hours later on Saturday February 11 at 9:53am  we welcomed Emily Michelle Ayers in the world.  She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and I remember thinking to myself, why will they not give the baby to me.  I can't even describe how much love I felt the first time I looked at her and held her in my arms.  She is the best thing to ever happen to me.  And I Thank God every day for giving Bryan and I such a beautiful blessing.  

So now I as prepare for her to start kindergarten I wonder where all the time went.  And you begin to think of things you could have differently. Have I worked to much?  Did I spend enough time with her over the last few years?  Is she prepared to start this journey?  Should we go private or public education?  So many questions and so little time.  And the choices Bryan and I make could effect the rest of her life.  It is just unreal.  So for all you other moms out there, I will accept any words of wisdom you may have to offer.